Gift-giving habit in Japan is one of the resistance rule for foreigners to practice. Gift giving culture itself is very common to support emotional connection with each other in the world. However, in case of Japan, the problem is that there are quite a lot of gifts that you are forced to give gifts as a matter of form.
New Year’s gift for children (Otoshidama), Summer greeting card with gift (Shochu-mimai), Year end gift, Christmas gift, Valentine’s Day gift,
If your acquaintance gives birth to children, you have opportunities to give baby birth gift, gift of a festival day for children of three, five and seven years of age, school entrance gift, graduation gift, coming‐of‐age gift, marriage gift, housewarming gift, etc…
Of course, whether you preset those gifts are all up to your willingness, but the deeper the your rerationship with acquaintance is, in the more cases you read between the lines and not giving gifts makes you feel sorry to get along well with him/her for so long.
Recently these formality traditional customs have been ignored by mainly young people and forcible atmosphere is gradually eased compared to the past times year by year. But there are still so many old people who support this custom and think this is the best way to express their daily thankfulness to people whom they receive favor and to make good relationship mutually.
I am going to explain the most unique points about Japanese giving gifts customs compared to other countries, which is difficult for you to understand.
Contents
Money
One of the big difference of gift giving custom between Japan and other countries is gifting money as showing your sense of celebration and thankfulness.
The representative gifts that you may have to give money are a marriage gift and New year’s gift for children. We Japanese have a custom to give money to someone’s life events which mark the important stage. The custom is pretty unique from the view point of countries except for Japan.
Of course, there is a case that grand-ma and grand-pa gives some allowance to children, but there is no sense of duty from formality custom in this situation.
Generally “gift” is something that make people happy except for money. When it comes to marriage gift in Japan, in the past times , marriage age is much younger than recent late marriage times and marriage couple’s solvency of those days is mostly insufficient so their relatives offer a monetary support with their willingness.
Sending money as a gift contains a wish for overcoming first monetary hardship to spend happy marriage life.
Return gift
In Japan, it is natural that if you receive a gift from somone, you return a gift to him/her. Even if you are said “it’s OK, don’t pay me any mind”, you have to give a gift. Because this series of communication is one of formality custom.
To refuse your gift-giving offer is an intention not to take it for granted to receive a gift but to receive your heartwarming thankfulness first and feel sorry to make you prepare a gift.
Refusing your gift-giving offer one time is showing humblness and gratitude for your heartwarming treatment. Do not take take these words as face value like he doesn’t receive my gift because he deosn’t like me.
You don’t necessarily return a gift but if you want to make deep relationship with Japanese people, there are a lot of benefits from practicing this custom.
Souvenir
Japanese souvenir industry is relatively bigger than any other countries. Except for metropolitan BCD area like Tokyo and Osaka, you can find regionally-oriented unique souvenirs soon at regional sightseeing area.
This is because Japanese people like buying souvenir as a evidence that they visited the place and present something rare which they can’t see diary for everyone whom you receive favor both officially and privately.
However, in case of you, speaking of souvenir, which is unexpected present for someone familiar. Japanese people look souvenir as a rite of passage.
Can I open this present?
In Japan, the timing of opening the given present is depending on the receiver in Japan. You may think that to give a good impression to a giver, a receiver should show a reaction of how happy he/she is on the spot right after receiving the present.
On the contrary, Japanese people say expecting receiver’s reaction force him/her to give a performance of happiness when receiving a present and someone may pretend to be happy to care for a giver.
Japanese people generally ask a permission to a giver if they can open the present, in order to express their gratitude and cosiderate towards a giver.
Do not tear off wrapping dynamically
In Japan, it is natural to pay a lot of attention to wrapping for present, the wrapping workmanship is as if showing perfect elaborated wrapping technique. So Japanese don’t understand a receiver tearing off gift wrapping dynamically in front of a receiver because there is also thoughtfulness in even wrapping.
In Japan, wrapping with ribbon is included in a gift. So when you open a present, you need to open the wrapping paper proficiently not to break off. This is consideration for a person who wrap a present very nicely.
It may not be a good gift for you but…
When giving a gift to someone, Japanese people say “it may not be a good gift for you but”.
You may think why they give a gift which they cannot recommend with confidence to someone.
However, that’s not what they mean. Why Japanese people say something let a receiver down about a gift when they give it is because they try to reduce receiver’s mental burden. Generally Japanese tend to feel really sorry to receive a present from someone because they feel a giver took the trouble to prepare for the gift for them. Adding words “It may not be a good gift for you but…” ahead of a talk have a effect to ease receiver’s sense of duty to return gift.